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Monday, February 22, 2010

The Garden

I am sitting outdoors in Thailand in a Garden located just outside the hospital on the sixth floor.  I am sitting in the shade under and open arbor made out of old lattice wood.  There are two chairs, a wooden bench, and a table where I sit.  Around me is nothing but beauty.  To my left there is an endless row of high rise buildings, stacked one next to another.  Some of the concrete, some of them look like they are made completely out of blue mirrors, reflecting the sky and its neighboring buildings.

It is sunny, but not too bright.  There are beautiful white clouds scattered throughout the sky.  Just floating like they have nothing to do, no where to go, just relaxing and savoring the moment.

In front of me and to my right are flowers.  There are flowers every where.  Purple ones, red ones, pink ones, and white ones with yellow in the center.  The flowers look so alive here, as if they know they will not wilt because it is warm all year.  They look happy, loved, as if they know they are being taken care of.  As if they know how beautiful they are and everybody just likes to admire them.  Even the hospital looks beautiful, the way its giant windows reflect the flowers, the sky, and everything around me.

I am just sitting here on a wide wooden chair enjoying the scenery.  Breathing in the beauty, as all the plants exhale clean crisp air.  I feel like I can sit here forever and just be one with my surroundings.  As if I am a part of all this beauty.

Time feels like it has stopped.  Like I never have to leave.  No worries, no fears, just life, nature and mankind's footprint.  I am here writing on a white note pad with my blue pen.  Trying to record everything, so I never forget this moment.  I wish time could stand still, because if it could... this is where I'd be.

 






Sunday, February 21, 2010

An Awakening

Below is an excerpt of the book I am writing "Discovering Your Inner Energy".  I would appreciate any comments  or feedback.  Please post your comments below this post or at Living2xcess.com.  Thank you for your help.


An Awakening

I've chosen to write this book about discover your inner energy because I am finally starting to understand it myself.  I have begun waking up.  I am finally finding my inner energy.  After going through my entire life half asleep, overwhelmed by fear, anxiety, sadness, and exhaustion, I finally decided to do something about it.


In December of 2009, I decided to move to Bangkok, Thailand.  It was a decision I made because I felt angry, discouraged, and defeated.  I gave up on my life.  I didn't care anymore.  I decided the only thing worth doing was to fly to Thailand where I can at least offer someone else the chance for happiness.  I left my life behind.  I gave up on it and moved to the other side of the world to focus on making the woman I loved happy.  This became my life purpose.  My only purpose.

This idea of desperation turned out to be the best decision I ever made.  I quickly learned that she cared about me more than I cared for myself.  Because of her love and my one purpose in life, I did what I had put off for a lifetime.  I sought medical help.  A month later, I came to learn that I was very unhealthy. I received a storm of bad news about multiple problems with my health, my lifestyle, and the consequences.  I didn't care. It just gave me an excuse of why I was the way I was; why I was a failure.  After receiving this news, I started seeing multiple specialists to fix my problems.  I did this for Siri, my new wife, to make her happy.

Two months went by and things started to change.  Something happened.  I started feeling different.I started seeing life in a completely new way.  I began to discover love in ways I didn't think existed. I started noticing the beauty in everyday life.  I was now experiencing a type of energy from deep within me, and I felt alive... for the first time in my life.



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Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Siripun Barnes

Siri has completely changed in my eyes since I met her. She has become the backbone in my life. When I first met her she was afraid, and I was the confident one. Now it is her making things happen. She has taken the steering wheel and is driving us through happiness. I say through instead of towards because... We are already there. With all the difficulties we have faced, Siri has made me happy. I can already say with certainty that our marriage is a success because the last 2 months have benn the best months in my life, even with its low points.

One time when we were in an argument, Siri asked me, "Are you happy at this moment?" It was during and argument where both of us were saying and doing thing we knew we would regret. Yet, my answer was still yes, 'I am happy at this moment."  I am happy at any given moment, even the hard times, because Siri makes me feel so alive. Its like returning to the days of high school when everything was so fun no matter what problems I faced.  Siri makes me feel like I am on top of the world.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Siri's Response: Meeting with Eric the first time


After reading so many of Eric' blogs about me. I would like to give a special thank to him for being one of the greatest person as always.

Meeting with Eric the first time
By Siripun Yindeetham Barnes

I remember that I was late for the first appointment waiting for a taxi to pick me up at River Oaks. After getting off at Coastal Grand Mall where I usually walked around, had some Chinese food and Chick Fil'A and watched some movies. Eric had already arrived there waiting for me. The mall was about to close when I got there. Yes, most of shopping malls in Myrtle Beach are closed early on Sundays. Eric took me to have dinner at Dead Dog restaurant. We were having a great conversation. We talked a lot while enjoying our meal. I could not figure it out if Eric was having a good time with me or he was trying to be polite to me. But, we went for a movie called “One Missed Call” afterwards. I picked out the movie because I personally like horror movies. It was so embarrassing as I told him that I would pay him for a movie ticket as he paid for the meal. I ended up buying only one ticket for myself and I thought it was for two persons. Oops!!! Needless to day, Eric ended up purchasing his own. I was glad that Eric told me I picked a good movie. So, I guess he enjoyed the movie.For some reasons, he chose to have a scary ring tone from the movie for a while. It scared me everytime when someone called him.

After the movie, Eric offered to give me a ride home because it was almost midnight. It was so embarrassing that I was trying to enter to a wrong vehicle. Definitely hating embarrassing myself in front of him and I did not know where to hide my face except for laughing at myself for being so awkward.

That was the first movie we saw together in Myrtle Beach. As for the restaurant, the food was great. Unfortunately, it was the first and the last time we had our meal there because the owner closed his business.


Culture Shock

Its been two months in bangkok and two months married. Every day here feels like I have to make a life decision. Every decision I make, I second guess myself or change my mind. Needless to say, Thailand and Marriage are completely different universes from my old life in the U.S. I don't even know how to grocery shop here.  I've been living off of grape nut cereal, rice and restaurants.

Living without a car has been difficult. I used to wake up in the afternoon, get in my car, and just drive.  Here... the traffic scares me.  Thai drives are insane. The cars here don't yield, they just assume the other cars will get out of the way, while the motorcycles drive by in between the cars, making their own lanes.

Culture shock is an understatement. I feel like a little kid in a new world with no parent to guide me. Not having a job and not being able to speak Thai makes things even more interesting. At least I know a few things are constant: My love for Siri, her love for me, and continuous learning and life experiences.

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Monday, February 8, 2010

The iMac Experience

Yet another change in my life.  20+ years of being a P.C. guru and I buy an Apple Macintosh computer.  Abandoning my x86 fellowship for a proprietary machine.  My life has completely been turned upside down now.    The mouse doesn't even have two buttons!!! How am I supposed to right click??

Gone are the days of taking apart a computer and upgrading each piece.  No more motherboard and processor upgrades.  I have gone into Apple world of incompatibility.  Sure it can still access the the internet.  Whats this?  It wants to join a network.  No... I want to connect to the network.  Apple users even have their own language.

No more Windows.   Shut out from the giant universe of freeware and open source software.  Stuck using the second hand software that gets created after a working P.C. version is made.  Why???  "Why did I do this?", you must be asking.  Well... Marriage is about compromise.  And life is about change.

So, without further ado, into the Safari of Macintosh I venture.

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Sunday, February 7, 2010

Marriage

Marriage... it's an absolutely different experience for me.  I have gone through life only having to worry about myself.  All my decisions were for my own benefit. Everything was me me me.  Now I am married, and I have learned... I am a pain in the ass.  I can argue, and very well I might add, about the most mundane topics.  I remember having an argument about what shampoo to buy.

Siri has always been the kind one.  The one that puts everybody first.

Me?  Take take take.

Being married to Siri is amazing. There are so many great moments and emotions that I have never experienced.  She supports me in ways that I have never thought someone would.  She accepts me for who I am, when even I don't completely accept me for who I am.  

We are completely different.  We look at everything from opposite perspectives. We are from opposite sides of the world.  Learning to put someone other than myself first is difficult, but she deserves to be put first.  I honestly believe that I don't deserve someone as great as her.  Tonight, I have made the commitment to always put her happiness before my own, always support her and be there for her. It is different. It is new to me. A man doesn't change overnight... but I love this woman sooo much. She is my life.

When I started writing Siripun.net I never imagined this type of life, this type of love, was even possible. I thank my mother and Siri's brother for putting me straight. I truly have a great family... on both sides of the world.

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Friday, February 5, 2010

What Counts in A Marriage

A Wedding greeting card from Hallmark given by Mickey and Jerry Clapham




What Counts in a marriage
are all of the ways
that a husband and wife give and take,
the fun that they share
and the dreams that they dare
are the small, tender gestures they make,
What counts are the times
they keep talking things through
until they can get them worked out,
the faith that they show
and the lengths that they go 
and the friendship that's never in doubt...

What counts in a marriage
are all of the ways
that a husband and wife will discover
that from this day forward
they know in their hearts
they always can count on each other

Thank you Mickey and Jerry

From This Day Forward

A Hallmark card give to us from my sister and her new husband for our wedding.


From This Day Forward

May you be blessed with happiness
all through your married life,
May you find joy in all the plans
you'll share as husband and wife,
And always may your home be filled 
with love and harmony -
From this day forward, may you find 
the best is yet to be.

Thank you Tara and Billy

Thursday, February 4, 2010

A Beautiful Life Together

A Hallmark card from my parents:
How To Make
A Beautiful Life Together
Reflections on Marriage for the Bride and Groom

Let love be your shelter.
The world is noisy
and confusing at times, 
so make a home
that is a haven,
a peaceful place where you can
listen to your hearts and savor
the comfortable closeness 
you share.

No matter how busy
your days may be,
make time for yourselves.
Hold hands. Unwind.
Surprise each other.
Find little chances every day
to show you're grateful to be partners,
to be friends, to be married.

Life is not perfect.
You will make mistakes
but each time
you meet life's challenges together,
you will grow wiser, stronger,
 and surer of your love.

Cherish your yesterdays.
They are irreplaceable souvenirs
of your journey through life.

Make Memories
that will bring smiles and sighs
whenever you look back.
(Look back often!)

Look forward, too.
Dream together. Plan together.
Make promises to keep.
Believe in your tomorrows,
because tomorrows 
are what forever is made of.

To make love last,
put each other first.
That is the way to make a 
beautiful life together,
the kind of life
you both deserve so much.

Thanks Mom and Dad, and thank you for helping us with the problems we have already had.

Where there is love

A wedding greeting card from Hallmark given by Keith and Janice Howes


Where there is love
there is beauty
that cannot be described
strength
that cannot be broken
and joy
that cannot be surpassed

Listen...
to your hearts.

Imagine...
a beautiful future.

Embrace...
the love you share.

Thank you Keith and Janice... wish you could have been here.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Thai Traditional Wedding

Have you seen how good Siri looks in a Thai traditional dress? Wow. I was so stunned all the blood ran out from my legs, and I was stuck on the ground needing assistance to get up. (really I was) Needless to say, I think I was the comedic relief at the morning ceremony of our wedding. It definitely was something different. I don't know how many mistakes I made, but I am thankful that everyone there was so understanding,

I don't like saying I was wrong, but I was wrong. Call me a hypocrite. The Thai Traditional wedding was absolutely amazing. I truly got to embrace a completely different culture. So many people were there to offer their blessings and wish us a happy marriage together. I still admit, I don't completely understand the culture and I don't always agree with it, but I am starting to really appreciate it. The way everyone gathers to celebrate the union of two people in love here is unique. It was definitely mesmerizing.

I still have so much to learn about Thailand and its culture. I feel bad when I become so stubborn and set in my own ways that I forget to open my eyes to whats around me. There is so much beauty here and so much history within this country. I thank everybody here for putting up with me.

Casinos Scandinavia

What can I say? I found another great gambling review site. You might say I have too much time on my hands here in Bangkok, but I have never had more fun at these online casinos. While trying to figure out new ways to make an abundance of money, I stumbled onto Casinos Scandinavia. Hands down the absolutely best place to find casinos on the internet, especially Roulette. After trying each of the sites they recommended, I found the best online roulette site that offers big time payouts. But you will have to find out which casino is the best on your own... don't worry though, with Casinos Scandnavia's comprehensive ratings and reviews, you will definitely find the best online roulette sites.

My Speech for the Evening Wedding Ceremony

The phrase "Wedding Jitters" is only putting it mildly. A few days before the wedding, I wrote out a brief speech to give during the evening ceremony of our Wedding. I didn't realize how nervous I would be in front of hundreds of people.   I wanted to say something special and explain how much Siri meant to me.   I think I almost forgot what my name was.  Since I wasn't able to say what I wanted to say at the wedding ceremony, I thought I post what I really wanted to say.


I met Siri in the United States a couple of years ago.  I always knew there was something special about her.  When I am with Siri, I feel like I am on top of the world.  She makes me happy.  She makes me act in ways that I can only act around her.  I feel like I belong when I am with her.  I think we are perfect for each other.  I think she is my soul mate.


When she left the United States after her internship, I thought I would never see her again.  It was the scariest feeling I have ever felt.  Now I realize that coming to Thialand is the best decision I have ever made.  Being with Siri has turned my life upside down.  I don't know how I have lived without her.  All I want to do is make her happy everyday.  And, she does so much for me.  When I'm around her I forget all my worries.   I love everything about her and  and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with Siri.

Lonely Hearts Casino

Since finding a casino in Thailand is basically impossible, I had to find a new place to look. LonelyHeartsCasino.com an online guide to the most reputable and popular online casinos. This literally is the best gambling blog I have been to.


Their site is a ratings guide to the best online casinos, poker rooms and gaming sites on the web. They listed all the best casinos and had experienced online gamblers review each site. This online rating site for casinos tells you exactly where the best places are to play slots, poker, blackjack and other casino games... And Make Money Doing It!! If you enjoy casinos and are looking to make some money check out this website. My personal favorites are the slot games at Lonely Heart Casino's online casinos for real money

Monday, February 1, 2010

Married in Thailand

January 30, 2010

Thank you everybody who attended the wedding.  Siri and I appreciate everything everyone has done for us.  Siri and I received a card today that I was really moved by, so I decided I was going to share it:

We are not meant to go through life alone.
We need a partner who will forever remain by our side.
Someone to lean on at times, remembering as well,
that we will be leaned on too
Someone to share our joy and hold us in sorrow.


Understand that there will be difficult times,
and doubt may cloud your lives.
It is then that you must trust each other the most
and believe that love will sustain you.


Do not give up easily;
fight for what is most precious - your marriage
Help it survive by nurturing it every single day.


Never hesitate to say, "I love you" 
or be the first one to say, "I'm Sorry"
Give a lot, overlook even more,
and always expect as much in return.


Never look back or lose yourself,
but celebrate the special privilege of being a couple.
Never lose sight of what brought you to the altar;
your special love for each other.
Cherish that always.


-- Linda Hersey